Never Thought We'd Make It

Pre-surgery. Top jaw set back very far.

Right after surgery.

Five months post surgery. All metal gone!!!


It was June of 1997 when we learned only a tiny fraction of what the next 14 years would hold for us. That was the day that we were told our precious baby girl was cleft. I was twenty weeks along and never imagined anything could be wrong with our baby. We went to our ultrasound appointment just as excited as the day we went for our first child. We just thought we were going to find out what we were having. Little did we know our lives were going to change.
The flood of emotions that followed was overwhelming. I was so scared and mad and sad. I was ticked she was a girl because girls and facial scars don't exactly click. Why couldn't she have been a boy? Boys wear their scars much differently. I felt so awful for even thinking that my baby girl might be "ugly". What kind of mother was I? I was scared she would be teased. I was lost at trying to think of what step was next. We had to find a doctor. We had to plan for all the differences in taking care of a baby with a hole in her face and mouth. She may have to be fed with a tube. She will probably choke and gag all the time. These were all the things we were being told and I was scared to death!
I look back now and cannot believe all these years have passed. Eleven surgeries have come and gone. Countless sleepless nights and doctors appointments have rolled passed. We knew from the beginning that Morgan would most likely need major jaw reconstruction. We hoped we would be able to avoid it, but as the years passed and her bite got worse and worse, we knew it had to be done. Just getting to the surgery day was a chore as we had to fight with three different insurance companies to get it approved. Finally on March 1st of this year, Morgan started a six month journey that I would have gladly taken for her.
She had her Laforte done. Basically, the surgeon cut her top jaw off of her skull and set it out much farther forward. She was placed in a halo to hold the bone out where it needed to be so that it could heal. She wore that halo for eight weeks. Attached to her top braces were two metal "tusks" that came out and secured to the halo to hold her jaw out. She had to keep those in place for 12 more weeks to hold her nighttime head gear.
We knew this was going to be a horrific ordeal for her. We knew this. Nothing could prepare me for how my heart would break when she came out of surgery. She looked so different. You could see the effects of the surgery right away. You could also see the pain she was to endure upon waking. Every movement of her face was agony for quite some time, We had to feed her with a syringe and tube like a little baby bird. She was sick from the anesthesia and was throwing up blood for two days. Every time she had to vomit, the pain from opening her jaw was horrible. The pain medication made her nauseous and she needed the pain control so the first few days we hard. I sat in that hospital room and cried. Knowing that I could do nothing to help her. I could not do this for her. I could not make the pain better.
As the days went by, she got better by leaps and bounds. She has always been made of the toughest stuff. We had her home for the first eight weeks doing school with the "Home and Hospital" program through the school district. She had a wonderful volunteer teacher, Mrs Thurman, who came once or twice a week to tutor and bring assignments back and forth. Cameron loved having her around to keep him company while all of the other kids were at school all day. When she had the halo removed, we found out that she had to keep the other metal attached for 12 more weeks and we had not previously known this. We told Morgan that if she wanted to stay out of school for the rest of the school year, we would continue with the home schooling. I was stunned that she wanted to go back to school. What a brave kid. James and I were constantly amazed at how she just did not care about the stares. She is tough and she wanted to get back to the world, so she did. She was teased only once and her older brother told the kid off for her. That was a bonding moment.:) It did my heart good to see him take care of her. He always has been a good big brother, but rarely has there actually been a need to really protect anyone. He stood right up and defended her and she was beaming when she told us that afternoon.
So here we are. The surgery is done. Only braces and some implants to come. She is fourteen years old and beautiful. She always was, but now she thinks so, too. We are all a bit tougher from having gone through this. Morgan is a lot tougher. She is an amazing girl. So strong. I am glad she is mine.