Recent "Cameronisms" and Walker gets his braces off!!!

This year, same as last, I took Cam to the school for a picture on picture day so that his would match the other six kid's photos. This was the first shot they got. Perfection!!!! What a hoot he is. He jumped right up on the little seat and smiled. All done. That easy. Everyday with him cracks me up. Lately he has had quite a few things to say that are definitely worth recording for posterity.
Just the other night, he was being quite naughty and would not sit still for family prayer. His daddy finally shouted at him to come to him, "NOW!" Cam asked, "What are you going to do?" Daddy replied, "You'll find out." Cam sheepishly walked over to him. Daddy swatted him on the bum and plopped him down on his lap. Immediately, Cam stated to all his siblings,"I found out."
A few weeks ago, we were all in the car while Walker was having some driving practice around the Murray High School drivers ed range. All the kids were yelling about how much fun it was to have their big brother driving the car and how good he was doing. Amidst all the happy shouting, Cam bluntly states," I don't think we are going to make it."
The other night at dinner, I started hiccuping. Cameron immediately states,"Hey everybody, Mom is hiccuping. Let's all laugh at her!" Where on earth did this come from? He informed me that same day that he is an eagle and I am roast beef. I guess that makes me mouthwatering and juicy? I don't know if I should be insulted or not.
Just yesterday Cam asked me out of nowhere if Jesus was Santa Claus. He is three!!!! I would love to see what goes on in his head throughout the course of a day.



Now, this is a bit after the fact, but Walker was able to get his braces off on August 27th after about eighteen months. He was so thrilled to be able to feel his teeth! This was right after we left the orthodontist office and were headed back to school. What a handsome kid he is! It is creeping me out, however, to see my little boy be nearly sixteen and in high school and be nearly six feet tall and just be growing up so darn fast! Where has the time gone??????

Never Thought We'd Make It

Pre-surgery. Top jaw set back very far.

Right after surgery.

Five months post surgery. All metal gone!!!


It was June of 1997 when we learned only a tiny fraction of what the next 14 years would hold for us. That was the day that we were told our precious baby girl was cleft. I was twenty weeks along and never imagined anything could be wrong with our baby. We went to our ultrasound appointment just as excited as the day we went for our first child. We just thought we were going to find out what we were having. Little did we know our lives were going to change.
The flood of emotions that followed was overwhelming. I was so scared and mad and sad. I was ticked she was a girl because girls and facial scars don't exactly click. Why couldn't she have been a boy? Boys wear their scars much differently. I felt so awful for even thinking that my baby girl might be "ugly". What kind of mother was I? I was scared she would be teased. I was lost at trying to think of what step was next. We had to find a doctor. We had to plan for all the differences in taking care of a baby with a hole in her face and mouth. She may have to be fed with a tube. She will probably choke and gag all the time. These were all the things we were being told and I was scared to death!
I look back now and cannot believe all these years have passed. Eleven surgeries have come and gone. Countless sleepless nights and doctors appointments have rolled passed. We knew from the beginning that Morgan would most likely need major jaw reconstruction. We hoped we would be able to avoid it, but as the years passed and her bite got worse and worse, we knew it had to be done. Just getting to the surgery day was a chore as we had to fight with three different insurance companies to get it approved. Finally on March 1st of this year, Morgan started a six month journey that I would have gladly taken for her.
She had her Laforte done. Basically, the surgeon cut her top jaw off of her skull and set it out much farther forward. She was placed in a halo to hold the bone out where it needed to be so that it could heal. She wore that halo for eight weeks. Attached to her top braces were two metal "tusks" that came out and secured to the halo to hold her jaw out. She had to keep those in place for 12 more weeks to hold her nighttime head gear.
We knew this was going to be a horrific ordeal for her. We knew this. Nothing could prepare me for how my heart would break when she came out of surgery. She looked so different. You could see the effects of the surgery right away. You could also see the pain she was to endure upon waking. Every movement of her face was agony for quite some time, We had to feed her with a syringe and tube like a little baby bird. She was sick from the anesthesia and was throwing up blood for two days. Every time she had to vomit, the pain from opening her jaw was horrible. The pain medication made her nauseous and she needed the pain control so the first few days we hard. I sat in that hospital room and cried. Knowing that I could do nothing to help her. I could not do this for her. I could not make the pain better.
As the days went by, she got better by leaps and bounds. She has always been made of the toughest stuff. We had her home for the first eight weeks doing school with the "Home and Hospital" program through the school district. She had a wonderful volunteer teacher, Mrs Thurman, who came once or twice a week to tutor and bring assignments back and forth. Cameron loved having her around to keep him company while all of the other kids were at school all day. When she had the halo removed, we found out that she had to keep the other metal attached for 12 more weeks and we had not previously known this. We told Morgan that if she wanted to stay out of school for the rest of the school year, we would continue with the home schooling. I was stunned that she wanted to go back to school. What a brave kid. James and I were constantly amazed at how she just did not care about the stares. She is tough and she wanted to get back to the world, so she did. She was teased only once and her older brother told the kid off for her. That was a bonding moment.:) It did my heart good to see him take care of her. He always has been a good big brother, but rarely has there actually been a need to really protect anyone. He stood right up and defended her and she was beaming when she told us that afternoon.
So here we are. The surgery is done. Only braces and some implants to come. She is fourteen years old and beautiful. She always was, but now she thinks so, too. We are all a bit tougher from having gone through this. Morgan is a lot tougher. She is an amazing girl. So strong. I am glad she is mine.

Chivalry is dead!

It has been so long since I blogged! I was writing a funny story on my Face book page tonight and cute Jen asked me why I didn't have a blog. I do! I just have neglected it so badly over the past fourteen months. There are so many things I should have written down with all these kids of mine. That got me thinking, there was no excuse no matter how trying this past while has been. I am on to taking care of my little blog again.

I start with a great little ditty brought to you by all three of my handsome boys; ages 15,10 and 3. Walker and Nick were talking at the bottom of the stairs to Cam, who is 3. I hear them tell him to come ask me what chivalry is. I figure this word will stump the little guy despite his record of pretty incredible pronunciation. Nope. He says,"Mom, what is chivalry?" I go on to give him nice long explanation of what it means to be a gentleman. Then I hear Walker say,"Bubs, come tell me what chivalry is." I whisper to Cam to say that chivalry is dead. Cam runs to the top of the stairs and yells to his big brothers,"Chivalry is dead! Because I killed it!"

Honestly, I have to laugh pretty hard at least a few times a day at the funny things that my babies come up with. I am blessed to have such a large clutch of amazing children! Crazy as it may always be at this home, I know one day all too soon, they will be gone. My days of peanut butter covered walls and buggers in the oddest of places, are numbered.

Thus begins my task of mega catch up and keep up on the goings on in my world, quite literally, out on a limb.:)

Pocatello Blizzard!

Last weekend we had the chance to drive up to Pocatello for Walker's Lacrosse team. We headed up ahead of the snow on Friday evening and arrived about 7:30pm. On the way up we had a chance to show Cameron a lot of cows. They were all over on the place in the fields along the highway. He really enjoyed that and just couldn't stop talking about the baby cows. At one point he asked me if I could see any cows and I told him that I didn't see any right then. He responded so quickly with, " Put them in your eyes, Mom" So cute! So logical to a two year old.

When we arrived in Pocatello, it had just started snowing. After we checked into the motel, we headed over to Perkins for a late dinner. We had a really nice time there and the food was very good! James googled them when we left and found that Salt Lake actually has a Perkins Cafe up north that has a limited menu, so we are going to have to give them a visit. We really liked the key lime pie! By the time we headed back to our motel it was snowing pretty good. The wind was kicking up and we were a bit worried. I watched a true blizzard out the window of our room for hours! The wind never slowed and the snow fell sideways until about three in the morning. I thought for sure our games would be cancelled. No dice! They just shoveled the snow off the field and marched on! I guess this is to be expected with any spring sport in the Northwest. By the time we were up at 6:30, the sun was coming up and the snow was gone. The wind, however, was not! We got to sit out in below freezing temperatures with constant wind and 40 mph gusts for eight hours!!!! I have never been so cold in my life! Really puts what the pioneers dealt with into perspective! We went and sat in the car with the heater every once in awhile to warm up a bit. I was a kind of worried about the little ones, but everybody did pretty well, all things considered, until the last game. That is when Daddy had to go and stay with most of them in the car until the end. They just couldn't take anymore!

Walker got a lot of game time and had a really good time! He even got to play in the second varsity game and got to do a few face offs! He was very pleased with that! All in all, it was a fun trip. We had a really good time and were very thankful that Grandma and Grandpa got to go up with us, too! We could never have attempted the trip without them!

I know that Pocatello, Idaho is in no way a glamorous vacation destination, but it was still so nice to get away if only for a day. We so rarely go anywhere. It just isn't in the budget with this large family, so when we do get the chance it is very fun. And for some reason, sleeping somewhere else always makes coming home so nice! I will add pictures as soon as I spot the camera!:)

On A Happier Note

So, my last entry was such a downer! I haven't been in the mood or position to blog for quite some time, but after that last rant, I knew I better get my buns in gear! Let's dive right in! Cameron is killing me with the funny things he says. Just tonight, when James was holding him, he was playing with his feet and gently slapped the bottom one. Cameron looked up at him in shock and Scolded" You slapped my foot! naughty, naughty!" This was not long after I was scolded by him after he had woken from his nap. He got all bent out of shape for some reason, turned to me, and firmly told me to be nice to him! This kid is my most independent little stinker by far. He has wanted to everything for himself for quite some time, but lately, he is getting more and more frustrated at anyone trying to help him. He loudly states he can do it and not to help him. Cute that he tries, but he is still so little, he needs a lot of help. For example, Cameron tells me he does not like diapers, so he goes to the potty several times a day on his own by climbing up onto the potty unassisted. When I try to put the new diaper on, Cameron wiggles around telling me how much he does not like diapers and then insists that he can put it on on his own. This baby just barely turned two! People are amazed all the time at how much he speaks. We call him our little parrot because he repeats nearly everything he hears and then uses it at appropriate times. Most of what he says is completely understandable to most as well. I am stunned really. None of the other kids have ever been so interested in communicating! It just goes to show that despite any efforts on the part of the parents, every child has their own set of gifts and strengths from the start! The most common phrases we hear from him are: I need you, leave me alone, how dare you, cuddle me, don't leave me, can I drive?, and no thank you! What a hoot! Can you tell this little guy has got me wrapped around his finger? Just a bit!:)

We are heading up to Idaho this weekend for a double-header in Pocatello. The weather looks dry but cold, so I am a bit worried about having all the kids outside for about seven hours! it will be a long day, but it will be fun. I really enjoy Lacrosse and I learn a little more each game. Maybe by next year I will know what's going on! Walker is having so much fun and is really excited about the little trip. It will be nice to get away even if only for a day and it is to Idaho. I will post pictures after we get home.:)

Morgan is only two months away from her big surgery. I didn't realize how close it was getting until we were at the orthodontist today. After our next apt. we will be scheduling for her pre-op visit! I try not to think about how tough it is going to be on her. My heart aches at the thought of her little face all bruised and swollen. I know it is necessary, but I still feel like a jerk for being the one dragging her in for all this. It is so hard watching your babies suffer. And yet, our suffering is so little compared to so many others. How can I complain? I remember so vividly the first time we took Morgan up to PCMC. She was two weeks old and I was so upset. I had so much on my shoulders. Then, I opened my eyes and saw all the other children in the waiting room. Suddenly pity for myself was erased and replaced with such shame at having thought my life was so hard! Shame on me for being worried about what other people thought. Shame on me for being worried about what she looked like or how scared I was. We were given a challenge. Nothing more. Any easy challenge by comparison. How lucky are we? Very. She is beautiful and well adapted. Hardly ever has she been teased. We have the most gifted surgeon there is! We have PCMC in our back yard! Oh, the blessings!

Walker is a Star scout now and well on his way to becoming a Life. He just returned from a camping trip to Moab last weekend. I don't think I will ever get the red dirt out of his socks! I am so grateful for his dedicated Scout Leaders and for his desire to be part of the scouting program. It is such a blessing!

All the other kids are doing well. I will wait and post about the rest of the family until I get my pictures up!

Life really is good, despite the tough days.

I try not to complain. I don't see the purpose usually. But tonight I am awake at 3:00 in the morning again. I am in so much pain, I want to sleep but cannot. Every breath hurts. Every slight move is painful. I am so tired of being in pain. I go to bed at night in pain and I wake up in the morning in pain. I move through the day, every day in pain. I try not to snap at my babies, but when you hurt all the time, everything is the last straw. I have no more straws, no more rope. I don't understand why I have to suffer from this when I am supposed to be a good Mom. I feel most days that I am just not living up to my end of the deal. My kids deserve more. My husband deserves more. How can I be more when every day begins with the deck stacked against me?I am supposed to have more faith. I know this, but still cannot find it. I used to be so sure the Lord would heal me if I just kept having faith, but the more years that pass, the less faith I have. I miss me. Really rough day, sorry. Thought I needed to write it out. Helps a bit, I guess. My baby is crying. No rest for the weary.

Busy, Busy!!

It has been quite a long while since my last post! I have truly been the busiest I have ever been! So many things have been going on here in our world. We have had two birthdays. On the first of February, our little Cam turned two! First, we had a family dinner party on Sunday and then we had a nice little family party for him at Chuck e cheese's on Monday.

At Christmas time, the kids got a large gift card to Chucky's from Uncle Critter and Aunt Jackie. We decided as a family early on that we thought it would be great to use it for Cam's birthday, so that we did! The kids all got tons of tokens and had a blast playing for hours! We did, however miss having our Makenna with us. She has quite a fear of people dressed in costume that has always hampered Halloween, but it seems to be getting worse and is keeping her from enjoying a lot of fun stuff with the family. We instead sent her out on a date with Grandma and Grandpa. She had a great time at Chili's with them and we brought her a cute little stuffed animal from our fun at the arcade. It turned out well. Cameron couldn't stop talking about it, saying Chucky Cheese over and over for days!

Walker turned 14 at the beginning of March. I still cannot believe every year that passes with him. I think that he being my oldest is what makes everything he does so unbelievable to me. He is taller than me, much stronger than me, smarter than me! He is turning into such a great young man. I can only take credit for so much with him. I would like to think I am the greatest Mama there is, bit I have to admit he came to me pretty darn awesome. He just has such a strong conviction to do good and to avoid all evil. I am not worried about him. I mean, he is still a teenager and gives me plenty of grief, but not in the way so many do. He is a great kid and I am so thankful for him and the example is to his younger siblings. Lucky me!

Walker also started playing Lacrosse for Murray High this year. He is loving it! He has definitely found a passion for the sport I didn't think he could. He has never been one for sports up to this point, so it really shocked me when he said he wanted to play. I was not about to get in his way, so we went for it and he is really happy. He has practice every school day for two hours and then one or two games a week. It has been quite the time commitment for me getting him back and forth everywhere he needs to be. On Wednesday and Thursday he has Scouts after practice and doesn't end his day till after nine. Needless to say, we are crazy around here lately, but it is nice to be busy. I am really loving the changes I am seeing in him. A new found confidence has emerged in him. He is really pleased with his new muscle definition and budding six-pack! I can't believe my baby is a man! Help!!!!

When we got our tax return last month we decided to finally replace our living room furniture after 15 years of marriage. The old stuff was broken, mismatched and frankly, embarrassing. We have always wanted a nice big sectional, so that is what we got! The entire family can sit on the couch together. No more fighting over spots on the couch. Everyone fits! I cannot believe what a difference it makes with our family time. Even scriptures every night have become less of a challenge. Who knew a big couch could make me so happy!